A lot of us are no strangers to long waking nights- being kept up by wandering minds and watering eyes.
For a while, tiring myself out during the day left me with no energy to keep me going on like this into the night. Since I graduated and stopped training, going to contests and meetings, handling events however- my days have been slow, and my mind having a lot more energy than what’s good for me. Bad days are stretched out long into bad nights, and the good ones are often ruined by my own over-thinking.
The only remedy I seem to have is praying. While we may all come from different religions- or even non-religions- I believe a similar activity is a strong positive force that keeps you from living through waking nightmares. Aside from communication, praying consists of a lot of thanksgiving for me. I list down all the things I am thankful for in the day- and in the end this makes me realize how even some of my worst days are not that bad at all.
I think a lot of us would have less of these nights- we’d have more positive energy both during the day and into the night if we only looked at the brighter things, and counted our blessings more than our problems. It is an amazing thing to realize how many things could have gone wrong, but didn’t. Personally, these are the things I know I will always be blessed to have- the things I know I can be thankful for everyday- the things I know are proof that a bad day does not mean a bad life.
1. I have my parents- my living, present, biological, healthy parents.
2. My parents love me and my brother unconditionally. They wanted us and never thought of giving us up, and they take care of us. They are proud of us.
3. I have my living, present, biological, healthy brother.
4. I grew up with my family, and we have the normal experiences of any other. I did not miss out.
5. I got to go to a good school, and I completed the education that so, so many only dream to have.
6. I have never gone hungry because of poverty or negligence. I have more than enough for nutrition, shelter, clothing.
7. I have never gotten sick because of the same reasons.
8. We have house help that have been with us long- one of them has cared for me and my brother since I was three- and they are all good people.
9. I have an extended family that we bond with regularly, who cares for us and who I know would take us in as their own if needed.
10. I have true friends and teachers who believe in me.
11. I am supported by my friends and family in my endeavors. Any sign of interest in let’s say- an instrument- and my parents encourage me and try to help me learn or get lessons. They are always there to help me with my schedules too- transportation being one major blessing.
12. I am alive and well- in mind, body, and soul.
The list goes on and on as time passes. I’m thankful that although we grazed another car, we were in no life-threatening situations. I’m thankful that even if I had an embarrassing moment, I lived to tell the tale and laugh about it too. I’m thankful that today I only almost dropped my laptop. I’m thankful, I’m thankful, I’m thankful.
My biggest problems are nothing compared to the biggest blessings in my life, and I think the best way to express how thankful I am is by doing justice to what I’m thankful for. This means doing the most of what I have- if not for myself, then for the people who can only dream of having and doing what I could do. I know what it feels like to see other people squandering things that I only wish I could have. I don’t want anyone to feel the same looking at me, and just like the lyrics in Now or Never in the 2K14 soundtrack- “That’s why I do the best I can, because I know how blessed I am.”
Honestly, I thought of a lot of this during one of those many long nights, and I know I’ll be having more long nights- more ideas and thoughts running all over the place. The difference is, now those long nights and those thoughts will be about the better, for the better, and I know I’ll always have the power to keep them so. Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” And yes, now that I’ve changed my thinking- my problems have either become more easier to solve, or ceased to be entirely.